Fit for What?!

Today we meet up with old acquaintances: A and B, sitting around in the yard during their lunch break – once again.

A: You know, I’ve been doing some thinking…

B (groans): Oh no, here we go again. I do not want a Stihl calendar discussion re-loaded !

A: No, no. And hey, you could do with loosening up a bit… no need to flog a dead horse – I already admitted that you probably had a point in that Stihl calendar discussion.

B (grumbles): You did? Well, you must have said it pretty quietly, in that case.

A: That was not what I was thinking about, anyway. No, in fact what I was wondering about was that workshop that the boss sent us to the other week, you know, those tree, mug and ears guys…

B (grumbles): …. treemagineers, more like. But carry on.

A (mumbling round a substantial mouthful of BLT sandwich, liberally spraying crumbs in the process): Well, you know, some of that stuff was quite interesting. I reckon though that they were a bit full of themselves. I got a bit ticked off by the big words they keep on using… who do they think we are? A bunch of boffins? And some of the stuff… ok, it’s nice if you have all the toys, but frankly, I can do most of that stuff by simply body thrusting and using my three-strand Prusik loops.

B: To be fair, they did say that in the end, it is up to each person to choose for themselves what the right tools and techniques are that correspond to the work to be performed, the environment you are working in, your level of competence and your climbing style. I did not get the impression that they were suggesting that they were offering definitive answers, rather they were throwing up questions and offering generic answers.

A: Umm, yes, I suppose that is true. And I liked that bit where we ran through the history of friction hitches, that was interesting. But you know, one thing I really didn’t get was when they were going on about dolphins. They couldn’t stop talking about the bloody things. I mean, what the hell?! It was supposed to be a tree climbing workshop, not some marine safari thang!

B (incredulously): Seriously, dolphins? You quite sure? How could I have missed that?!

A: Yes, I am absolutely sure. In fact, it was porpoises they were on about. I looked it up, that is a kind of dolphin. They said it is important for porpoises to be fit!

B (in stitches, clutching his sides laughing): You complete nincompoop! That was Fit for Purpose! They were talking about compatibility and configuration of components! Dolphins indeed! Sometimes you just crack me up!

A (doing an interesting impression of a tomato, turning a shade of bright red): Umm, err, yes, well… maybe I just zoned out for a moment and missed that bit. Now that you say it, it probably wasn’t about dolphins after all – makes more sense this way, too.

B: Seriously, you’ve got to try to read up a bit on this stuff. It is interesting and fun to understand a bit more about the background to the work we do.

A: As you well know, I am not the biggest reader in the universe. I am trying though, I read the stuff that people post in tree climbing groups on Facebook.

B: That was not the kind of reading I had in mind, actually, but whatever… I suppose it is all good.

A: OK, glad we cleared that one up. But, you know, there was one other thing that also puzzled me. Who was that woman they kept rattling on about?

B: Woman? C’mon, A, what are you talking about?

A: No, seriously, it was some Miss… whotsit … umm? Oh yes, got it! It was a Miss Configuration! Ever heard of her?