Well, not really.
But Chris suggested these last week and I think they are a really good idea and might well prove to come very handy in every-day arboricultural practice.
At any rate, I thought they merited a picture…
So what have we go here?
- Work Positioning Competence Cream™: Apply liberally to ensure best possible work positioning results, can also be daubed on your PPE. Why waste years training when this can give you instant results? Will allow you to climb like a champion!
- Arboreal Hurt Pride Ointment™: Actually a traditional herbal remedy containing lemon that was recently re-discovered and tweaked for use in tree care. Applied during the post-fuckup phase, it will greatly reduce the pain and reduce bruising to the ego.
- And finally, the good old stalwart arborist evergreen… the Can of Harden Up™. Your lower lip trembling during an especially tricky dismantling job? Worried about your anchor point prior to ascent? Scared to make the swing? Just crack a Can of Harden Up – works instantly. This is guaranteed to have you swinging off cranes! Can also be used in case of minor abrasions, cuts and blisters. A word of caution however: Make sure that you follow the included user instructions in regards to dosage… overdoing this stuff can lead to seriously flawed judgement.
There you go.
Hopefully your local dealer will be selling these great products very soon – and remember, you saw them here first!