Welcome to my head.
I was wondering about something today during work – let me run it past you: for illustration’s sake, let us say I was having a talk with… Jeff. Mind you, not that I have an invisible friend called Jeff – which, for record’s sake, indeed I do not, but if I did it might have gone something like this:
Jeff: Fruitarians, eh? Only eat fruit.
Me: Right. Are you sure it is ok discussing this? I mean, might fruitarians take offense and feel that we are making fun of them?
Jeff: Nah, relaaaaax. I wasn’t intending to make fun of them. I was just going to say that I read a definition the other day of what makes you a fruitarian – and it said that they only eat things that fall out of trees. So I don’t really get it.
Me: Right. Like… fruit. As the name would sort of imply. Which part are you struggling to comprehend?
Jeff: No, but seriously, think about it for just a minute… all sort of other things also fall out of trees!
Me: Like whaaaaat?
Jeff: Well, thinking back to job sites I have been on… jackets, jumpers, handsaws, bottles, protective glasses, mobile phones, battery packs of electric chainsaws – the chainsaw itself, come to that, sodding great big lumps of wood. And now and again an arborist.
Me: Uhh… did things just get weird in my head?
Jeff: So that really makes a fruitarian an omnivore – with quite an interesting diet.
Me: Uhh, yes. Bon appetite, I suppose. A lithium ion battery soufflé, yummy! But Jeff, the bit you skipped over when you read that definition is the bit where it says “naturally”: things that naturally fall out of trees.
Jeff: Thanks for bursting my bubble. Typical me, nit picking again… I thought my definition was much more fun!