T Rex Reloaded

No, do not worry, we are not spiraling down any further in to T Rex-related silliness, but just to tie up some loose ends, I wanted to share this…

Over at Gravitational Anarchists, Tony has expanded upon the theme and added his thoughts regarding this topic, all delivered in his very eloquent and incredibly funny, dead-pan style. I have to admit that when I first read his offerings, I laughed so hard that I had snot come out of my nose (ok, I had a cold, but still…).

So there you go.

Here is what Tony has to say regarding T Rex’s strengths and weaknesses…

Here is a list of stuff that flummoxes T Rex:

  1. Picking his nose
  2. Clapping his hands loudly
  3. Jumping jacks
  4. Handstands. (Although his big head should work for a headstand!)
  5. Certain verses of the hokey pokey (T Rex is not as bad off as an earthworm though, they put their heads in, then out, then shake ’em all about. That’s it!)
  6. Monocle, unless it is for the belly button
  7. Covering his mouth when sneezing or coughing
  8. Flossing
  9. Flipping others off (especially the left hand to opposite elbow, right forearm at 90 degrees, middle finger extended! This could exacerbate general grumpiness as well!)
  10. Jump rope
  11. Tossing a bridal bouquet
  12. The Macarena

To be fair, here are a few things T Rex excels at:

  1. Eating birthday cake
  2. Farting
  3. Polite golf clapping
  4. Low fives
  5. Head butts
  6. Piercing stares
  7. Push ups
  8. Running his ass across the ground or smaller creatures to clean it off
  9. Soccer (except the goalie position!)
  10. Tying a cummerbund
  11. Hacky sack
  12. Chest Bumps
  13. Stomp dancing, Scottish and Kakitihánnakah (the latter is a native American version. Although T Rex remains are rare in the eastern U.S. I like to think T Rex left the wall flower ways behind around the campfires of the eastern nations)

It occurred to me that T Rex probably got such a bad reputation because he had to constantly ask primates and other smaller creatures to hold/do things for him.
Imagine this:
“Hey could you hold this ice cream cone for me please” T Rex asks baby raptor.
“Sure” the little guy squeaks out. T Rex stoops over to take a lick and swallows the raptor, the cone the ice cream all at once. ” Oh my!” He says.

Tony rocks. Officially.