The other day I was posting about the recommendation for karabiner inspection recently issued by DMM.

One of the points the document highlights regarding lubrication is not to use graphite, the correct lubricant is Duck Oil. This got me wondering…

Duck Oil? Whisky Tango Foxtrot?!

First off: What kind of duck, you may be asking yourself? Good question.

The answer is, it really depends. You can simply go with American black ducks or green-winged teals. The discerning lubricator and connoisseur may prefer the red-breasted merganser or even a lesser scaup, depending on what effect he or she is aiming to achieve.

Righhhhht… so how do you get to the oil from there, you ask?

Well, I had a vision of big, burly Sumo wrestler-type men clad in loin cloths tramping on vats filled with aforementioned ducks in order to squeeze every last bit of oil out of them (ugh, as I am writing this I am realizing this is actually rather an off-putting thought).

Or maybe duck oil is a substance produced by the pituitary gland of a certain species of rare aquatic bird, the little egret, that historically was harvested in a remote region of Dagestan, where women of the ethnic group of the Lezgin skillfully massaged the oil out of the ducks’ neck, producing a thick, viscous substance?

A side effect that all this would surely be that it would be easy to recognize vegans by their squeaky karabiner gates…

Sounds a bit weird?

That is because it is. Reality, as so often, is far less entertaining (well, this strictly depends upon your point of view – from where the duck is standing this is probably a good thing in view of humanity’s pretty tarnished track record when it comes to doing horrible things to other creatures).

In actual fact, Duck Oil is a lubricant manufactured by Swarfega, which is – to quote their blurb – a silicone-free, non-conductive, multi-purpose service spray. Exceptionally low surface tension means it can easily penetrate, lubricate and protect with no need to dismantle machinery and parts.

So now you know. Whether vegan, fruitarian, omnivore or carnivore, no more excuses for sticky karabiner gates.

Extra virgin duck oil? You could say this one really quacked me up! ? (Yes, that one hurt, sorry)